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HOW TO SAY NO IN A POLITE AND FRIENDLY WAY WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY
Sometimes, saying NO is the only best option. If you're like me, you will most definitely find it very difficult to say no in any situation you find yourself in. I often found it very difficult to say NO to a request or favour asked of me, this almost cost me a relationship and I learnt the hard way.
I once lost a friend for some months due to my inability to say NO. We were together in a team and were each given a task to handle within a deadline. Because I was expertise in that field, she asked me to do hers for her. Claiming she had some important matters to attend to and wouldn't be able to meet the given deadline. Deep-down, I knew combining hers with mine would be burdensome for me and I may not meet the deadline. Plus, she was my friend. How could I turn her down? What would she think of me? Won't she hate me or something? Well, I sure have to say yes to her. Maybe, I can work something out. So I said yes!
I once lost a friend for some months due to my inability to say NO. We were together in a team and were each given a task to handle within a deadline. Because I was expertise in that field, she asked me to do hers for her. Claiming she had some important matters to attend to and wouldn't be able to meet the given deadline. Deep-down, I knew combining hers with mine would be burdensome for me and I may not meet the deadline. Plus, she was my friend. How could I turn her down? What would she think of me? Won't she hate me or something? Well, I sure have to say yes to her. Maybe, I can work something out. So I said yes!
A day to the submission of that project, she came to my house and was more than disappointed when she realized I hadn't done anything for her. I hadn't completed mine either but I was hoping my superpowers would enable me to complete both mine and hers before submission day. Plus, I wasn't even expecting her. It was such a disaster. She lamented that I should have told her I couldn't do it and she'll find an alternative. I felt bad. I was only trying to be good after all.
If you're finding it difficult to say NO in any situation, here are some tips for you.
Saying No to a colleague: Your colleague at work is asking you to help him out with a project. You know if you take on the project, you might end up messing it up since you're not an expert in that field. You can simply say: I'm grateful you contacted me to help you on this but I'm afraid I might mess up your work as I am not qualified in that area. However, if there is any other problem you're encountering and think I can handle, please do not hesitate to call on me.
Saying No to a Boss: Your Boss at work asks you to take on more projects/work. Taking up that project might mean having sleepless nights for you. You can politely say, thank you very much Sir/Ma for considering me for this project. However, I might not be able to handle it considering the volume of work yet to be done by me. Perhaps, when I clear my desk, I would consider taking it up.
Saying No to a Customer: Okay, this one is a bit tricky. Because customer's are always right. Isn't it? Well, maybe not! Sometimes following a customer's idea could turn out to be a big disaster and guess what? You will still get the blame. Afterall, you're the expert and you should have known it was a totally bad idea. To sell your idea and say no to them, listen to them attentively. Even if they're making no sense at all, don't cut them short. Thereafter, you can start by telling them why you think their idea won't work, how you want to give them maximum satisfaction and the only way to do that is by sticking to your ideas and plans.
Saying No to a friend: Okay, so you have a friend that wants you to lend him money for something not really important: maybe to buy a new dress for a party, to go shopping etc. You may or may not have the money or you probably want to use it for something else. The best way to say no is by stating that you would have loved to be of help but due to some financial constraints, you may not be of much assistance.
Saying No to a family: Sometimes, families could be so demanding. Afterall, they're your family. You should always help out, right? True, but you don't have to grant every freaking request. Your brother asked wants you to buy her iPhone simply because he thinks you can afford it. The answer is simple: I'm sorry I cannot afford to buy you an iPhone now, not because I cannot afford it, but because it's rather too expensive and I have so many other things I want to do with the money like getting a land etc. But, I can get you a smaller phone if you wish.
When you learn to say no without any form of guilt, you are conveying two things: that you can't accommodate the request but you still value the friendship.
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